Boogie down Bangkok

After Ko Phi Phi I went and spent a few days on Ko Pha Ngan, home of the notorious full moon party. Unlike many, I didn't plan my trip around this trance inducing drug buffet of a party, but I was fortunate to attend the trance induced drug infused half moon party (any excuse for a party is accepted here). Unlike the full moon, this party was in the jungle instead of on the beach. It was good fun but could have been better had I any interest in that kind of shitty music. I also got a case of the envies over a girl. A case of getting a little and wanting a lot, you know? Overall the south of Thailand was good, even though I saw only a small bit of it. It is pretty much swamped with tourists and entirely too expensive plus the locals secretly hate you there so actually, boo the south of thailand.

I'm back in Bangkok now. Looks different to me after have seen so much in 5 months. Part of me thought I would be haunted by thoughts of all the money I lost here in that miserable card game scam but the truth is that at this point I couldn't give a rats ass (not that anyone would want to receive such an item, and it would probably be easier to just give the whole rat). i'm gonna hang out here for a few days, save money, dodge ladyboys, and contemplate my trip, my life, and my future.

The Japanese hot dog man could do it

So since I got back to Thailand, I've been on some stunningly beautiful islands where the charge you more money than the whole country of Zimbabwe has for everything. For this reason I haven't been on the internet at all. The disadvantage of this is that tons of things have happened that are definitely blog worthy but I've forgotten. Basically its all been a massive party with good people and good times.

On Ko Phi Phi I hired a boat with a group of people and went to some of the outer beaches. It was pretty phenomenal. We went to the beach where they filmed "the beach". It was good and was probably the worst possible time to forget my camera in the room. Regardless the battery was low and would have probably died anyway. Plus, its broken and can only take the shittiest of photos. We stayed on a tiny little desert island for the sunset and then got on the boat and went back. This was a problem because the driver is unable to see without light. The waves got pretty huge and we were all pretty convinced that death was one possibility. Luckily we made it back, even after crashing into several rocks.

My first night on that island there was a massive beach party which was awesome. I managed to lose my flip flops which sucks. i refuse to buy new ones so Ive been rollin blackfoot. Not so bad though, tons of people got there cameras or wallets stolen. They didn't have to steal my wallet because I spent all my money on overpriced booze.

This one restaurant on the island had a burger challenge, where if you finish the whole plate, its free. Now who do you know that would try this? Me of course! But let me tell you. These people are assholes. there is so much food on this plate, I don't know if it can be done. Maybe the japanese guy from the hot dog contests could do it. I ate maybe a quarter of the plate and was so intimidated by the rest that I stopped. A shame really because I think that in my prime I could have done better, and also I had to pay 15 bucks for it.

Home Stretch

Well, I'm back in Thailand. It was an expensive day of transport, I spent nearly 30 dollars. Ok, so I went several hundred kilometers but still, its much more than I usually spend in a day. It's all good though, tomorrow I'm goin to Ko Phi Phi. I've heard many mixed things so I'm just gonna go and make my own judgement. I wish I had more time for southern thailand. I mean I think I allocated my time well overall but it would be good to have some more pure hedonistic party beach time, you know?

I really did have a good time on Langkawi though part of wishes I had done anything there besides hang out with old man Klaus. He was funny though, always walkin around without a shirt but always with a towel around his neck, always weirding new people out with card tricks, always watching tv and always always always smoking ciggarettes and drinking red wine and beer (really, he would have both at the same time, and he would smoke probably 5 packs of ciggarettes a day. but I guess if you're old and cruising the world, why not?)

This is the home stretch which is a little depressing, so many places here left to see. It will be nice to see you all again though. May 7th, count it.

Please don't give the monkey beer

So I meant to leave this island days ago but I'm still here. Lots of beautiful women insist on coming so I can't leave until they do. Also there are tons of people to play cards with and there is also a tv. It rains everyday so I don't feel guilty for spending my time this way. There is an old Swedish guy who has been here for months and he is funny as hell. I never much engaged old people probably because I don't like many of them, but this guy I find really enjoyable. Sometimes he rambles and sometimes I don't understand him but sometimes he says some really funny shit. He told me he saw a postcard that a drunk guy was writing to his wife that said "the weather is here, wish you were beautiful". That was a good belly laugh. Also at my guesthouse is a damn zoo of cats and monkeys.

So I haven't seen shit on this island because I won't drive a motorbike. Car rentals are cheap if you have a few people to split it but nooo, everyone would rather drive a motorbike. This morning one girl got in an accident (as so many people do) and had to pay off somebody 500 ringitt for damage to their car. I secretly was pretty happy about this. Let her think twice next time before dismissing my logical idea.

Make them cry

I played hearts yesterday with a group of Belgians. Get this. I won the game with a score of 4! Really! I mean if hearts was a gladiatorial death sport, I smashed their heads in with my mace hard.

Also, if anyone wants any bootleg dvd's or videogames, let me know since I can buy them for nothing. Are you allowed to bring lots of pirated shit into the country? Even if they are just gifts? I feel like pirated dvds are a true asian souvenir.

Extra worms please

I've been in Penang now for about 5 days. I like it a lot, everything is cheap which is pretty much the most important, except for the beer as usual. My guesthouse actually does have beer for a little over a dollar. This is lowest price Ive seen yet in malaysia but I still refuse, it's outraegouesly high!

There are a lot of characters at this guesthouse of mine. Some of them have been great, many of them weirdos and assholes. This morning I woke up to everyone screaming at eachother. I don't know what was going on but I just pretended to be asleep.

For the past few days there has been a festival at the chinese temple next door to some goddess of the sea. It's pretty cool, they light giant sticks of incense, dance around all crazy-like, set off fireworks in the middle of the damn night and start the drumming and loud noises early in the morning. Fuck I'm glad that's finished.

Let me tell you about this drink they have here called chelup, I mean cheldon, no no, it's chendol, yes that's it. In this "drink" is rice, some beans, some green jelly with worm-looking things, some black syrup or sorts, and coconut milk. You drink it with a thick straw, you know to get all the rice and bits. It took me about five minutes to figure out what it tasted like and if I liked it. Turns out I do but it is no doubt the most bizarre drink currently in drink circulation.

Could you clip the nails first?

So this morning I was served a bowl of chicken feet soup with breakfast. I thought it was just regular soup until my spoon discovered from its dark depths a chicken foot. I promise you that I did not ask for it (although I probably nodded my head yes when she said something incomprehensible). Well I figured this would be a good opportunity to try something different. Two sips later I thought I might vomit so needless to say, I did not finish it.